There are many situations in our life that can lead us to live an attachment relationship. Parents, friends, and partners can develop somewhat unhealthy relationships that limit our independence and security.
In the field of love relationships, emotional dependence or attachment is very common, much more than we think. An overly dependent bond is created between the two people, making one without the other feels incomplete.
insecure, weak. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to discover how to overcome emotional attachment in your partner by giving you some tips that will help you detect this situation and, of course, to be able to overcome it.
Healthy and positive relationships are the only ones we must cultivate.
How to know if you are attached to your partner
Before entering fully to give you advice so that you can overcome emotional attachment in the couple, it is important that you learn to recognize its most obvious symptoms.
It is not necessary to go to an extreme and feel completely vulnerable without that person to talk about attachment, simply, it is enough to analyze a series of behaviours and feelings to understand the nature of your relationship.
Thus, a person with emotional dependence on his partner usually experiences situations similar to the following:
You want to always be with your partner:
although at the beginning of starting a relationship it is natural to have more desire to see that person than others, the truth is that this situation is only the beginning.
Then things should calm down and get back on track But if not and you still feel that need, it is because you probably have an emotional attachment.
The usual thing is that, after the first months of passion and extreme infatuation, a calm comes and you regain your life and your independence; if not, it is because something is wrong so analyze it.
You feel that you need him:
This is another of the most common situations in couple attachment relationships.
And it is that, instead of wanting to be with him and enjoy an evening in his company, your feeling goes further and goes from a simple desire to need.
This is dangerous because if you ever lack that person, your world can completely fall apart. Relationships are not a necessity, they are will and decision.
You feel insecure about your relationship:
It is also very common for people with emotional dependence on their partner to be always insecure about the future of their relationship.
Their concern is such that they stop enjoying their life as a couple to be always worried.
This happens because, as we have said before, a toxic bond of need is created and, therefore, you cannot even imagine what will become of you and your life without that person.
These thoughts only generate anguish, discomfort and stress.
Feelings of inferiority with respect to your partner:
The dependent relationship that you have generated in your relationship makes you feel unworthy of their attention and that you are always worrying if they find someone better than you and, in the end, they abandon you.
This makes you feel smaller and more insignificant by his side each time, something that greatly affects your self-esteem and self-confidence.
You do not know how to be alone:
And, finally, another of the most obvious symptoms that indicate that you suffer from emotional attachment in the couple is that you are not able to enjoy without that person.
You do not know what to do with your life when he or she is not there, you do not know how to have fun or occupy your free time.
That clearly indicates that you are feeding solely on your partner to be happy. And that is totally insane because you are the person who has to fight to be happy. Only you.
4 tips to overcome emotional attachment as a couple
Now that you know what emotional attachment is, it is important that you try to overcome it in order to live fully and happily.
Very often, in a relationship breakup, it takes a lot of time to break that attachment and, in the end, you end up having a worse time because of this toxic bond rather than because you miss your partner itself.
Therefore, it is important to know how to overcome emotional attachment in the couple and fight to enjoy a fuller and more satisfying life.
Don’t be afraid to be alone
In order to overcome emotional attachment in your partner, it is important that you are not afraid of loneliness.
Clearly, after a breakup, there is a period of change and that during this period there may be times when you feel more alone than usual. But nothing happens, really.
It is something normal and ordinary that happens to all of us. In fact, even with a partner, it is important that you maintain your individuality, that you take care of yourself and that you spend time with yourself.
Only then can you continue to be a complete and authentic person who, if the relationship ends, will continue exactly the same with your life.
Be more selfish
In order to avoid emotional dependence on the partner, it is important that we do not lose sight of our interests or our dreams.
Many times we tend to confuse “adapting to each other” with “nullifying each other.” This is something that we must avoid to the maximum. We have to think about ourselves, what we want from life and do what we really want to do.
And if our partner is within this plan, much better! But, above all, we must never let ourselves in the background.
Distance yourself from your partner
Another trick to be able to practice emotional detachment in the couple is that you have separate moments. Converting the couple as a “pack” is something totally toxic both individually and socially.
It is clear that there will be moments that you share together but, also, there must be other moments in which you are apart. You cannot become one person, you have to be two individuals who have come together to be happier.
But always that: two independent and united people.
Do you want him or do you need him?
This is a question that we invite you to ask yourself and be very sincere when answering it.
Differentiating what is love of need is something basic that will mark you what, really, your feelings towards your partner.
Remember that a partner is never needed because, to be happy, you don’t need anything other than yourself.
Therefore, it is important that you analyze the nature of your feelings and, in case you feel the need, try to separate yourself a little, take care of yourself and respect yourself. You are worth a lot. You don’t need anyone to be happy. Do not forget.
Typical symptoms of emotional attachment
And, to finish this article about the emotional attachment of a couple, it is important to know the symptoms that can help us to detect if in our relationship we have attachment or, on the contrary, we enjoy a healthy relationship.
Here are the most obvious signs of dependence on your partner so that you can analyze your situation:
Something very common among couples with dependency is that they have some “obsessions”. For example, compulsive jealousy or mistrust is a clear symptom of this emotional situation.
It is also common for the person with whom life is shared to be idealized or for negative situations that are experienced within the couple to be ignored.
Another characteristic of dependent couples is that they are all day talking on the phone, by messages, etc.
And at the moment in which one member cannot contact the other, the usual thing is that great discussions, mistrust or complicated situations are created that are the result of this toxicity that exists in the couple.
Lack of realism in the couple :
Another very common symptom is that the relationship is lived in a fantasy way.
That is, the reality is not accepted and decisions are never made about it.
This type of relationship is doomed to failure but, most of the time, the couple keeps trying over and over again because they see it impossible for the relationship to end.
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